


The Found Family of Rita [Redacted]

by Liberte_Egalite_Broadway



Series: I don't know who I am (but I know who I'm not) [5]
Category: The Penumbra Podcast
Genre: Apparently I am the first fic to post under a Jet & Rita tag, Blatant use of the Peter Nureyev Alias Generator™, Domestic Fluff, Family Dynamics, Fluff, Gen, I'm honored, Nonbinary Juno Steel, Peter and Juno are one of those PDA couples, Post-Season/Series 02, Rita and Jet are my brotp, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-26
Updated: 2019-02-26
Packaged: 2019-11-05 20:10:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17925527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Liberte_Egalite_Broadway/pseuds/Liberte_Egalite_Broadway
Summary: Rita was a patient girl, but even she had her limits. And, well, Juno Steel and Mr. What's-his-name, The Thief, were just about at the limit.





	The Found Family of Rita [Redacted]

**Author's Note:**

> Here's the Rita fic I promised you guys. After all this fluff I'm going to need to cause some pain. 
> 
> Also, I feel bad because my Penumbra fic count has surpassed my Night Vale fic count and Night Vale is my favorite podcast so it's like I'm betraying it??? Idk but my Penumbra fics tend to be one-shots where my Night Vale fics are a little longer so I guess we're good. 
> 
> No editing we die like men (meaning that we die throwing ourselves at useless causes. Such as war. Or fanfiction.)
> 
> I should sleep at some point in my life.

Listen, Rita was a patient girl.

But even she had her limits. And, well, Juno Steel and Mr. What's-his-name, The Thief, were just about at the limit. 

When Juno told her that he was going to be "well, not exactly starting a  _relationship_ , we just wanna figure things out - stop laughing, dammit Rita why are you laughing, I said we're not dating -" with Mr. Arrow, Rita thought that was great. She knew that Fay Arrow wasn't the guy's real name, just as Rex Glass wasn't his real name. Over the course of the past few heists, he was Basil Lance, Hyacinth Mill, Arthur Neptune, Micah Spade - which meant, of course, that he wasn't any of them. His name didn't really matter. He was someone who liked Rita's boss, and she was happy for the two of them. 

But when they decided to engage in passionate, badly hidden make-out sessions all over the ship? Or when Juno decided that he needed to spontaneously give Mr. Glass ballet lessons at three in the morning, in the hallway right outside of Rita's room, and then turn that lesson into slow-dancing while not-so-quietly mumbling things like "I missed you. I missed you so much," and kissing? Well, that was crossing a line, and Rita didn't like it when people crossed lines. Kids with coloring books, maybe, but not couples, not in her presence. 

Rita, for the record, loved coloring books. When her eyes got sore from watching so many shows, she lounged across her bunk or at the table, meticulously filling in the blocks of the drawing with the scribbling motions of her favorite crayons. Jet joined her if he wasn't busy. It was nice to have a friend. 

 

They sat like that on day thirty-five. She had a calendar in her room marked off with the number of days since she and Juno had first joined the squad. Jet worked on a picture of a car, while Rita's was a fancy array of flowers from all over the galaxy. Buddy and Vespa sat across from them, finishing up their breakfast. Rita chattered away eagerly and rapidly while her arm scribbled over the page. "It's not like I ain't happy for them, 'cause I  _am!_ All I'm sayin' is, if Mista Steel is fake married to Mistah Arrow in every single heist we do, somebody's gonna catch on an' get suspicious! Ya know? We gotta think strategically."

"Yes," said Jet. 

"Also! Why does Mistah Arrow always get to be the best dressed outta us? I only ever get to wear my normal stuff, but Buddy lets him steal whateva he wants and it makes me real jealous, Jet, I want some new dresses too and it ain't fair!"

"You rarely ever go on heists, Rita," Jet reminds her. "You are usually here. Sitting at your comms and hacking into sensitive databases."

"I  _know_  that," Rita huffed, "but I can look pretty while I do it, can't I? Can you hand me a magenta crayon?"

"This one?"

"That ain't magenta, that's fuschia! There's a big difference!"

"My apologies."

"Tell you what, Rita," offered Buddy with her mouth full. "You can get a new dress when we land on Neptune. Deal?"

"Why not on Saturn?"

"Saturn clothes are trash," said Vespa. "You don't want 'em, kid. Wait til Neptune."

"We're going to Neptune?" asked a husky voice from the door. Rita turned around in surprise - she hadn't heard it open - and there stood Juno, holding hands with Fay Arrow or whatever his name was, still wearing his pajamas. Rita had never seen Juno in pajamas before they joined this team. Actually, she'd never seen him in anything other than black clothes and a trench coat. But now he stood in a crop top, baggy pants, and slippers, with his hair all frizzy and last night's lipstick smudged. He was kind of adorable, in a way. 

"Only to pick up some supplies," said Buddy as Juno went over to the coffee machine. "And I've told Rita she can get an outfit while we're there."

"Oh, excellent," Fay trilled. "I need a new jacket. My old ones are  _so_ unsuited for cold weather."

"Not an outfit for you, for  _me_." Rita pointed her crayon at him like a weapon. "This ain't the Fay Arrow outfit run. It's the Rita outfit run! And I'm gonna get whatever I want, just as soon as I decide what that is!"

"I believe pink would look lovely on you. I have drawn an example." Jet slid over a very rough sketch of a stick-figure Rita wearing a pink dress. She really didn't look like that, but she appreciated the effort. 

"Whatever you like," yawned Fay. "Juno, coffee for me? You didn't have to get that for me."

"Yeah?" Juno sat on Fay's lap and handed him a mug. "Well, you obviously weren't going to get it for yourself."

"You are the light of my life." Fay grinned and ran his fingers absently through Juno's very messy curls. Rita went back to focusing on her coloring page and half-listened to Buddy outline their supply run. 

It was kind of weird, this dynamic they had going. Dynamic, that was a fun word. This dynamic was almost like a weird sort of family. Rita hadn't had any close friends for a while. There was Juno, obviously, but he was her boss, and everybody knows your boss is your boss before he's your friend. And of course there was Franny, but Franny wasn't much of a talker. Great listener, but pretty slow conversationalist. Like talking to a blank wall. 

Now, she had this great crew of friends. There was Buddy to gossip with as they worked over the ship's computer, and Rita always loved a good gossip. She even got the red-haired woman to go in for a bet  - if Juno and Fay made out on the control panel before eight am on Saturday, Rita got ten creds. If it was after eight am, then Buddy got the creds. Rita had actually rigged the bet by telling Juno and offering to split the money with him, but Buddy didn't need to know that. And also, Buddy was really great at appreciating Rita's cool-hacker skills. 

And then there was Vespa, who didn't talk that much, but who taught Rita every hiding spot on the ship and showed her how to backlog extra shows into her coms. She was also a really good cook, and Rita was a really good taste-tester. 

And Jet, who appreciated all of Rita's favorite shows. He seemed really stoic, but once you got to know him he was as soft as a big teddy bear. He even shed a single tear at the finale of "Dinosaurs in the Sea", a fantastic show and one of Rita's all-time favorites. 

She even liked Fay, aloof though he could be. On the first heist where she went out in public, he sat Rita down and did her makeup so well that she refused to scrub it off for the next few days. And he made Juno happy. So, of course, she had to like him. 

Currently, he was making Juno laugh at some joke that Rita hadn't heard. She hadn't heart Juno laugh in what, three years? Maybe two? "You are such an  _idiot_ , Fay" said Juno through giggles. "God, you are an idiot." He mashed his face against Fay's collarbone to stifle his laughter. Fay smirked and sipped his coffee. Rita continued to fill in the lines of her coloring page. She had no clue what this flower was, but it sure was pretty. This was nice. Sitting here in the kitchen of a spaceship was nice, with her friends around her and the gentle smell of coffee in the air. Rita drew, caffeinated and happy, and the six of them shared a space together. 

Then Fay started kissing Juno's neck, and Buddy and Vespa decided it was time for them to go chart a course to Saturn. Jet gathered up the crayons. "Rita," he said. "Would you like to go watch an episode of a show."

"Yeah, I think I'd like that!" Rita grabbed the coloring book. "Okay, you two have a good morning! Bye!" 

"Bye," said Juno. He waved with the hand that wasn't cupping Fay's jawline. Rita let the door slide closed behind her and skipped towards her room, Jet on her heels. 

"You wanna finish 'Werewolves in Space', Jet, or you wanna re-watch 'Dinosaurs in the Sea'?"

"I cannot decide. Both are so enjoyable," said Jet. "You may pick."

That was real friendship right there. 

**Author's Note:**

> Tired: The ship is tiny, forcing Juno and Peter into each other's personal space.  
> Wired: The ship is freaking enormous, Juno and Peter are just in each other's space because they choose to be. 
> 
> (In all seriousness I enjoy fics that have it both ways, this is just how I've chosen to write mine.) :D
> 
> Comments are appreciated! Have a lovely day.
> 
> Update: I just noticed that the third fic in this series is almost at 100 kudos, so if you'd like to help me get it there, please go leave kudos if you haven't already! If you like this fic, you'll love that one too!


End file.
